arewethereyet

And honestly I’m not sure why. I’ve accomplished my walking goal for the week and i’ve done well with my food. I’m still not sleeping well, or enough. That might be part of it. Who knows? We all ebb and flow with our moods, me in particular.

Actually you know what? I do know why I’m a bit down. I’ve not done anything social since last Wednesday when I met a high school friend for dinner. Sure, I’ve gone to the gym, I’ve talked to friends online and on the phone, but I haven’t actually been with other people at all in like 4 days. Wow. That’s kinda crazy, particularly considering what a social animal I am. So the question becomes, which came first the sadness or the loneliness?

Another insight (wow, this blogging is helping me a lot all of a sudden) when I’m so focused on my weight loss and my exercise, it reminds me of the days of yore when I struggled with bullimia. Eating disorders are very isolating; I wonder if this focus on my trek to virtual Louisville (which is where I have decided to pretend to walk to) is bringing up some old feelings.

So what to do? Hmmmmm well first things first, I will go to the gym. Exercise always helps my mood and I think I could use the endorphins. Then I will watch my “boyfriend” Novak Djokovic play in his first grand slam final. (How is it that I love this child-of-a-man so much?? LOL)  After that, I’m afraid I have to do some homework for school; I have to write a draft of a research proposal and read 4 chapters before tomorrow. Holy hell, I have a lot to do today! That’s my plan of attack. Tomorrow I expect to meet my friend Megan for coffee, which in my case will be bottled water because I can’t drink coffee anymore (damn bloody diet!)

Well suddenly I am motivated. I will blog again tomorrow. PEACE. ELLEN