Some reality checks are tougher than others
Most people would think that the harsh reality check of the scale this Sunday morning would have been my most painful reality check. And it was painful, seeing that so much of my hard work over the last year had slipped away from me through my own complacence. But in truth, my toughest reality check came last night. At the gym. Where I was humbled by the ellyptical machine which had my number in 6 minutes. And where I struggled to complete 40 minutes on a treadmill.
I got the world’s worst cold over Thanksgiving weekend. I couldn’t work out for 2 weeks because I was trying to get well for my wedding. Success! And then I relapsed when we got home and didn’t work out before the holidays. During the holidays, I was well. I chose not to go to the gym. It is what it is. But I see the effects.
At first I was embarrassed about how out of shape I had become in 5 weeks. Then, epiphany, I figured it out. It’s not 5 weeks. It’s waaaay more than 5 weeks. A year ago, I was the workout queen. I hit the gym every day for at least an hour. I did cardio. I did weights. I had a trainer. I took fitness classes. I was a happy and yes somewhat obsessed gym rat.
And then I started working again. And working on my MBA. And navigating a relationship and planning a wedding and combining households and… yeah, I was busy. It was too much. And I thought I had it. And I thought I could let it slide and maintain my fitness by going to the gym a few days here and a few days there.
And you know what, it worked. I could fake being fit, to myself. I could get it back - the tone, the pace, the heart rate - in just a day or so. But the delusion was over last night, when I got on a treadmill and said you’ve got to be kidding me. And I started watching the clock. And counting down. And counting up. And wishing my gym time away.
And lamenting my backslide. It’s a harsher reality than 10 pounds on a scale. I accepted a long time ago that I was never going to be ‘that skinny girl.’ But I was proud of my fitness level. Today I am once again humbled by reality but blessed with self-knowledge. And that is some small comfort.
Here is today’s quote, which seems fitting for the occasion:
| Quote: | If you think you’re tops, you won’t do much climbing. |
| Author: | Arnold Glasow |
Too true.
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hun, we all fall of the wagon more than once, what makes u special is that u realized it and are getting right back on track, {HUGS}
It’s going to be an interesting journey for you to reclaim your fitness level.
Well, now you have the opportunity to get it back, and I know you will
Oooo… Ouch! The good thing here is… you got to the gym, which is a step better than the day before, so I would consider that you are on a roll now. I’m having to work my fitness level back up too Ellen, so I know where you are coming from. What once used to be a breeze for me is (right now) pretty damn challenging. You’ll get there, and so will I. Lessons learned for both of us.
How’s Ted and the job hunting going?
Hugggggggggggggggs,
Shan
You can do it. Although I don’t know you at the moment, other then some current blogs, I have to say I completely understand where you are coming from. I too lost 70 lbs, gaied 30 due to an injury BUT since last April, lost 36 back.
Until you readjust and gain stamina, you may not do as much cardio or lift as much as you did in the past. No worries, as you continue going back you will get back to your fitness level.
I went from 18 hrs a week to 0. I remember starting back and wasn’t happy with the 30 minutes a day. It was sad. Now I’m back to 2 hours a day and it’s awesome.
Time and patience, you’ll get back to your old self.
I feel your falling off the wagon pain, myself! It’s so frustrating knowing (at least for me personally) that I let outside stresses in my life affect my personal health!! I have a feeling once you start getting back into the swing of things, it will be no problem for you. Sure you will find things depressing and challenging from the get go (it sucks starting from square one!!!) Stick with it. Just addressing your personal problems is a great start! As far as endorsing exercise tv goes… I am in no way affiliated haha (if they saw my chunky butt endorsing their workouts, they’d probably ask me to stop haha)… I just like convenient things I can do from home.
Keep up the good work, I will keep my eye on you!
regards
Well Look at that Ellen…you are human! LOL Welcome to the landslide we call weight loss. I finally started doing great too and lost 64 lbs then…..preggo again. LOL So i know all to well how life makes some big decisions for us.