arewethereyet

Friends,

On the minus side, I broke my word to you all that I would hit the gym yesterday. Not a good start to our renewed relationship I know. On the plus side, I think I kept the more important one - the one to my husband to be there by his side through thick and thin (thick being the operative word this week.)

 At 11:30 yesterday morning my cell phone rang - it was Tim and he had bad news. He got laid off from his job. As a union guy, we expect a seasonal slowdown but this came out of left field. Essentially one huge job was suspended, not his, but it had a domino effect through the rest of the industry in the area. Our finances are okay for the time being - I’ve done very well at my sales job as I may have reported yesterday - but we are still recovering from the expenditures of the December wedding and the holidays. Add to that fact that the holidays wreck havoc with his work schedule anyway (don’t work, don’t get paid) and it’s clear that we are not at the most flush part of our financial lives right now.

Tim struggles a bit with his pride. We are living in the house that I bought 5 years ago. I make more money than he does in general and could pay the bills without him there, just like I did before he got there. When he’s not working and unable to contribute fully, he feels “kept.” He’s not and like many SAHMs I know he contributes in unmeasurable non-monetary ways. But he feels low. We dealt with some seasonal unemployment last year as well before we were living together and it bothered him that he couldn’t take me nice places or buy me nice things. Now he can’t provide for me in our home and he just can’t cope. And he doesn’t have many coping mechanisms, at least not healthy ones. It’s tough.

But this blog is about me. I skipped the gym last night to support my husband, to be there for him, but yes in some ways I resented it. I had just declared to all of you that I needed to make Me a priority in the year of Us, but then I let Me take a backseat. It was the right thing to do. I know that. But I also know that I make excuses and I need to get myself on track, for Us as much as for Me. I asked him to go with me - he said no, that he was going today. And he probably will go while I’m at work, and then I will have to get over the guilt of leaving someone I love alone in a low place while I prioritize Me. The first step is getting out the door I suppose.

 So here is today’s new promise. I WILL exercise today. If I can’t feel good about leaving the house, I will go upstairs where we have a mini gym set up and I will exercise. I will pop in a DVD and do WATP or maybe a step aerobics routine. I will do push ups and situps. I will bounce on my mini trampoline with my iPod on. Whatever it takes, I will do it. For no less than 30 minutes. Because I am worth it, and I need to do it for the Me in Us.

 I close with a quote from Barbara Sher, the author of “I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was” which inspired me today:

‘Now’ is the operative word. Everything you put in your way is just a method of putting off the hour when you could actually be doing your dream. You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.

How’s that for some “GET TO THE GYM ELLEN?!” inspiration??