arewethereyet

To say that I was a good buddy in 2008 is a massive horrifying embarrassing overstatement. I’m not even sure that I logged in after March. Ugh. I write today to re-establish myself on the site, to reconnect with old friends, to beg forgiveness for disappearing, and to ask for help as I continue this life journey.

 I have had a backslide. My weight is up - and I’m the not-so-proud owner of 10 MORE holiday pounds. This is what happens when a cold sidelines me at Thanksgiving for 3 1/2 weeks. This is what happens when I abandon what I know works for me. This is what happens when I say “I deserve to celebrate!” and what I mean is “I can eat that.” In short, this is what happens when I get complacent.

Today, I cannot own my weight for you. I cannot say it out loud here. Maybe soon. I have made great strides mentally and food-wise in the last 2 days since my commitment began anew. I am gluten free once more. I am following my bloody diet, and seeking out foods that are medicines to me not poisons. And I’m gearing up for my new gym… in fact, I will go tonight. This I pledge to you all.

For those of you who are return readers, I have major updates to report beyond the fact of my continued weight struggle.

1. I am gainfully employed and have been since March 2008. The 9 months off were great for me mentally but painful to the pocketbook as I’m sure many here can relate to! I like my job. And I have found balance in the fact that I am not my job - a problem I suffered with before I left my former employer in search of me. And I’ve been very successful at my job - it’s a sales job and it appears that I will finish my rookie year at 125% of goal and near the very top of the performers. All in all, work is good.

2. I am married. When last we spoke, I had met and had fallen for a wonderful man named Tim. He came over some time in February and never left. He proposed on June 6th and we married on December 13th. It has been a wonderful magical time for me in my personal life that is for sure. I am blessed no doubt with the unwavering love of a good man. At long last, I have found my partner in life and it makes me teary to think about how long I struggled to find him.

These two major events in my life have been great on their own, but I have found it difficult to prioritize my health plan because of the all-encompassing natur of each. Tim and I declared 2009 the year of Us. And I am declaring the Me in Us beyond important - I am declaring the Me in Us to be mission critical.

My goal, with your help, is to be a healthy weight and proud of my strong body. Today I am proud of myself for taking the first steps back. Thank you in advance for your welcome.

Ellen