arewethereyet

I am having one helluva day. Some of it good, some of it not-so-good. But I’ve decided to concentrate on the good and I want to share it with you all.

First off, I’ve had  2 people tell me “you look REALLY different” and they meant my face and not my body. And they meant it in a good way - almost like “I can tell you’ve lost weight but wow the difference in your face is really noticeable.”

And my chiropractor who I haven’t seen in a month now said, “WOW! How much weight have you lost?” So the change continues to be noticeable.

And I played with my goddaughter today for several hours and she’s a piece of work. I gave her a holiday gift on Wednesday - an adorable raincoat that looks like a lady bug, which matches a very well-received umbrella I sent her about a year ago - and she took one look at it and said in her very British accent, “Aunt Ellen, I’m not very interested in this.” Hilarious. She repeated it. I nodded and said, “Okay honey. I can live with that.” But she loved the 5 dollar stuffed moose I brought her and can’t sleep without it now so I guess that’s a plus. And we’re great friends when it comes to make believe and the dollhouse. She’s as girly a girl as I am. Hooray!

And lastly, my boyfriend just called to tell me he’s in love with me. Now he’s been at a holiday party so we’ll see if he regrets it tomorrow, but OMG my boyfriend loves me. And I’m pretty sure I love him too.

Such a crazy day, and the last thing I expected to hear tonight. But it ends the day on a lovely high note which I needed.

Big hugs to all, and to all a good  night. XO ELLEN

I’m so proud of myself! This week at the gym I achieved 2 personal bests:

1. On Tuesday I ran 3 miles in 39:25. So I can officially do a 5K now, and I beat the 40 minute mark, which is easily a personal best!

2. Today I ran 1 mile in 12:08. That’s doing a mile at 5.0mph, and for me that’s flying! So I can do it! I can run faster and faster. I don’t think I’ll ever get below 10 minute miles… and I’m a helluva long way from that now… but I’m proud that at 42, I am in good enough shape that I can improve my time over and over again. A few months ago even I was having trouble getting below 15 minutes for a mile. This is a major improvement and I’m proud!

I’ve eaten Chinese food almost every day this week so far. It’s so weird - everyone is serving…

Sat: Tim and I ordered Chinese food.

Sun: I ate leftovers.

Mon: No chinese

Tuesday: Thai for lunch, Chinese for dinner at a presentation

Wednesday: Chinese and sushi for dinner with my family that is in from the UK

Thursday, that’s today: Leftovers from Tuesday.

I’m so sick of the far east right now it’s crazy. On the plus side, I’ve managed to stay away from the pot stickers and the egg rolls and stuff like that. I know it’s still bad for me but I’m consoling myself with that achievement. LOL  Hopefully I’m not doing too much scale damage, but I think I probably am.

Is it the new year yet? Even though the no gluten-diet helps me avoid the cookie temptation, I’ve got to tell you I’m seriously tired of eating. Must get back to normal.

Hugs to all! Ellen

Short blog, but I have to post it because I’m just so happy about it! My doctor called and my cholesterol is down. We’re still not normal but we’re getting there. Down 25 points, unmedicated, since she tested it this Spring. I have a strong family history of cholesterol issues so this is a  major personal victory. And oddly enough I did it by eating red meat and cutting out the wheat and dairy - eat right for your blood type. I swear as much as I think it’s gimmicky, I do believe that my body works better all the way around when I eat like this.

Off to the gym to work out with Claire. Tick tock. Time’s a wasting. Hugs! Ellen

Today is my 42nd birthday. I’m trying to figure out if I look older this year or younger. I think I might look older, because I’ve lost some fat in my face. It is what it is… I’m not a big birthday person so it’s kinda weird for me to throw it out there to you all and say “check it out - it’s my birthday!” but I’m trying something new this year. I’m trying to get comfortable with being noticed in general. I think this is one of the steps I need to take to get my head around the whole holiday reaction to weight loss issue I’ve blogged about recently.

Speaking of which my anxiety level on that is still high, although not nearly as high as it was a few weeks ago. I’m settling into it and getting comfortable with this new body of mine. Which, btw, is currently 6 pounds from a very exciting number! (I’m down another 2 pounds this week btw - WOOT!) The goal is to be out of the 2’s by year end. I’m going to be close but I’m focused on the goal and I honestly believe I can get there with dedication, moderation, and a little help from my buddies

This 200 mark is a big one for me. I was trying to remember the last time I saw it. It’s been a long long time. I’m not one of these big-time yo-yo dieters, or if I am, I guess I’m not terribly successful at getting really low because the last time I saw 199 I was 27 years old. I did Weight Watchers right when I started at McGraw-Hill and that was 15 years ago. Holy cow. I haven’t been under 200 pounds in 15 years. That’s a realization. About 6 years ago I did Atkins and got down to 214. Then I gained it all back. Last year I took phentermine and got down to 219. And gained 16 pounds back. This year I eliminated gluten and processed foods and started walking my buns off… lifestyle choices I can maintain I might add. And I’m smaller than I’ve ever been. That’s something to celebrate on this my 42nd birthday.

I’m feeling the need to moisturize badly.

Tim is working today and tomorrow. I’m not happy about it. I’m trying to be supportive because I know he really wants the extra cash for the holidays but mostly I want to spend some time with my boyfriend for my birthday. I am seeing him tonight - we’re having dinner with my friend Cheryl - but really I just want more time with him. Haven’t seen him all week because of this overtime craziness - I think he put in 15 extra hours M-F and then this weekend he’s doing 10 today and 10 tomorrow. I can tell I’m getting attached because frankly, I miss my boyfriend. A lot. And it’s making me a little nutty. We speak daily but I’ll confess to you all that I’ve felt vaguely lonely all week long with him not around. This is probably another emotional step in our relationship - I wonder if he’s feeling the same way. Ah the drama of young (I mean middle-aged) love. I mean like. I’m not actually ready to say love yet.

And that’s about it from here. Thank you for celebrating my life with me every day and know that when I count my blessings I count my buddies here right near the top of that list. Hugs to all, Ellen

The lady at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru (where I was picking up my decaf, now allowed occasionally by the natural doctor - hooray!) told me I looked skinny.

Strangers at the gym are telling my trainer (and sometimes me) that I’m melting away.

And my cousin Annie said, “OMG Ellen you’re TINY!” And made me shop for new clothes so that I would get how they are supposed to fit.

And yet of course I still feel fat. Lovely time of year for the insecurity complex to be in full-swing. But I’m trying really hard to focus on the positive and do what I need to do to make sure I feel really good about myself this holiday season. Annie, btw, completely understands the whole family drama that I’m dealing with in my brain. Tried to talk me off the mental ledge and she did a pretty good job. We went shopping so I could see what fits and what doesn’t fit. It’s remarkable how much I don’t get the clothing thing at all, but I do know that her perspective on this helped because now I have a better idea of how not to feel dumpy in the clothes I do have right now. And Annie completely gets where I’m coming from - it’s nice to have a kindred spirit in the family that I can and do talk about anything and everything with. I just wish I saw her more often. My earlier blog comments about craving family were very very accurate. Annie met Tim on Saturday morning and gave me her seal of approval. I figured she would, but it’s always nice to be right on something like that!

I met Tim’s sister on Saturday night when we had our “first” date. The concert was great and Tim was so into it. It was very cute. I am nearly positive I passed the sister test with flying colors as she gave me a big hug and a kiss when we parted and told me she was looking forward to seeing me again soon. I know I’m almost 42 - like days away from it - but this may be the first time I’m meeting a boyfriend’s family members. I mean I’ve met them before, kinda, but never as the girlfriend per se. So I don’t know - I think I may be having an adult relationship. Crazy but true. In other good news, we spent the longest time together that we’ve ever spent and we got along great. No fighting, no bickering, no “omg is this over yet”. Just fun. Hooray.

Heading off to school now. Hugs to all, Ellen